Naive or just Stupid?

             I guess I am somewhat of a Pollyanna, overall. I always seem to expect the best of people and events. I figure most of life will have a happy ending. I seem to be able to find the silver lining in most clouds.

              I am always surprised when a person I know turns out to be “bad”. I have no illusions that people are perfect and don’t expect them to be anything more than just a person. So what is a “bad” person? It’s not a liar, everybody lies or exaggerates at some time to boost their ego or make him or herself, or their family look better. Or they lie to avoid something unpleasant or uncomfortable – I get that; self-preservation is a very strong drive and in the big picture, not important. And it isn’t necessarily when someone breaks the law or commits a sin (as in the 7 deadlies) or even breaks a commandment (they are just guidelines to me).

              It’s when people lie or misrepresent with the objective of tricking someone or hurting another person – on purpose. It just strikes me as wrong, and a waste of time & energy. They are bound to be found out and then there will be a mess.

              I had thought the business world ran differently. Perhaps it’s because I am somewhat new to business. Maybe lying and cheating it is just the normal way of doing business, I can’t say for certain but I don’t like it. I am very uncomfortable with bullying as well, I still have a hard time standing against it, but I just hate to see it.

              I have learned through my life that if a person will screw over one person, they will screw over anyone. They might say “it’s just business”, implying that they don’t behave the same way in their personal life as their business life, but it isn’t true. Or they say they wouldn’t do this or that to their friends but don’t believe it for a second. The worm will turn on you.

              Perhaps I feel this way because when I commit to something, generally I do it. I take the commitment seriously and I expect other people to do the same. Don’t say it if you don’t plan on following through. Many people don’t feel the same way or share the ethic, and it’s disappointing. Perhaps it is me who needs to toughen up – but at what cost?

              To me there are not a lot of things in this life to depend on but you need to be able to depend on your friends. Many of you probably have family you can depend on as well – lucky you, cherish it. I am an only child and my mother is in a care home (dementia of some kind), Dad is dependable but he is getting up there in age. I have many cousins and I know they wouldn’t turn me away if I showed up on their doorsteps, but we aren’t close.

              I think this is another set of skills to learn. If so, I am on it, unwillingly and with my heals dragging but I am on it. Got to learn how to be ruthless and aggressive and demanding – like on the TV programs “Dragon’s Den”/”Shark Tank. I’m smiling to myself as I write this – it’s not really part of who I am and what I consider “right”. It is not in my nature and I can’t see changing that much. So maybe I will learn to keep my eyes open and not to expect too much from others – which I probably can manage.

              Any tips or hints or words of advice would be appreciated.

              I’d love to have some comments.